Tuesday, February 7, 2012

It's just our brain that control the love game...

I've read a book which recommended by a good friend of mine claims that love is actually attributable to some specific chemicals and brain circuits working in specific sites of the brain. That's pretty true as brain produces copious amount of dopamine and norepinephrine, it makes you feel that you are on drugs or something. It’s when you feel loved and adored, your hormones push blood into your cheeks and make you feel “glowing” and radiates warmth.


Love can be a wonderful roller coaster ride and it happens unexpectedly for most people. The feelings come from the primitive part of the brain known as the cerebral cortex, gray matter and overpower the rational thinking part which making lovers behave in irrational ways. Such behaviors have been linked to the combination of the low serotonin level and high oxytocin level. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that gives us heightened feelings of awareness, sensitivity to our surrounding and an overall feeling of well-being. Depression and eating disorder are also associated with low level of serotonin. Women naturally have around 30% more oxytocin than men and hence, combination with the lower level of serotonin is actually very much self explainable on why woman are more inclined to become “crazy” about someone and even intensely obsessive. By now you should know why women tend to overeat and also emotionally unstable when they are in love.


In a new relationship, men fall deeply in women and that the high level of oxytocin level that gives them a warm, fuzzy feeling we have for that person. The more oxytocin is produced, the more nurturing they will be and the more deeply they will bond with someone. Oxytocin rises jus as quickl as they hear the name, listen to song connected to her and smell the similar fragrance (now you know why even those expensive perfumes have a high market demand).In the early stage of “falling-in-love phase”, men’s testosterone level is usually lower and tends to have a higher oxytocin level that make the bonding process to be quicker. This turns men to be softer gentler and more easygoing. In the same time, women’s testosterone level rise with excitement and confidence, hence hornier. Consequently, giving an illusion that male and female sex drives must be the same. However, when this “shagathon” period ends (usually 3-9 months in the new relationship) women’s sex drive return to the “default position”. This leaving the man with the idea that she’s gone off sex and giving the woman an impression that he’s sex maniac.. Many relationships ends at this very particular stage.


Women showed more activity in the caudate nucleus ( an are in brain associated with memory, emotion and attention), caudate septum which also called the ‘pleasure center”, and the posterior parietal cortex ( which involved in production of mental images and memory recall). Men on the other hand show more activity in the visual cortex and visual processing areas, including the one area responsible for sexual arousal. This is partly why man falls in love faster than a woman does. They are more visually motivated and immediate signals are sent to activate an instant hormone surge. Hormones then can overtake rational thinking and thus, men can make decision that may not be their own best interested. It then turns into a situation where his erection overrides his brain.

Monday, January 9, 2012

the red boxer & blue oversized-T on the track

Another day has came to pass.... oh well, 2 more days to exam. Too many things to study, as usual. It's just kinda stressful for all this last minute study. Every single pre-exam period, I promise myself that I'm not going to study at the eleventh hour, yet, the same thing still happen. sigh....

Guess nothing is better than going down to the track for a jog in the campus during such an exhausting and stressful day. The funniest thing is that.. for the very 1st time, I wore a red boxer going down to the track without my realization. haha... the boxer is just way too comfortable.... and the blue oversized-T as well.... =) but the track was quite empty, not much people there, probably it's Sunday and that's why. It feels great after sweating out and chilling there while looking at the sky while the sun going down. Even I didn't reply your msg, but I felt you were there still. Sometimes, I wonder.. will there be a day.. we both walking on this track together.. but guess not, you are just too far away.

My heart is just so jet lagged today. It's getting lonely living upside down, I don't even wanna be in this town, trying to figure out the time zone, making me crazy.....I've been keeping busy all the time, just to try to keep you off my mind....
I wonder whether we will same sun rising, but guess not. Cause you always sleep late and wake up late...!! You might just wake up at my sunset and say good morning when it's midnight.



Saturday, January 7, 2012

after half a year....

You texted me and i'm surprised. Has been half a year since we our last visit to the park nearby the house where I used to stay last time. Haha.. You said I came across your mind when you were studying downstair. Yea.. You are right, I used to stay opposite of your house and will be studying downstair too. Thinking back at the old time.. we used to give motivation to each other and go to the park to "blow water".... I miss playing the swing at the park now.. ^^ Oh well, I'm proud that I at least come across your mind even you are stressed up due to our stressful exam..! Guess is just because a true friend is hard to find, hard to leave, and is IMPOSSIBLE to forget..!! and that's why you remember me.. =P Well, it's always great to have a friend and senior like you... and the best part of the msg that you have just texted me is that asking me go to MOIS when our exam ends... =.=" Seriously... you all keep thinking of me whenever feel like going to club...

Friday, January 6, 2012

Overwhelming attention during my weakest time

oh well... exam is just... killing me.. guess what... approximately 20 over subjects and I left only like less than 4 days to exam. sigh... out of a sudden, I feel that last minute study is just out of my league.. =.=" At times, really feel like giving up, but I know it will just not going to happen. Just need to hang on there till the very last minute and put this through. For I know life is just not like waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

Sometimes, it's just hard to resist. Especially when you are too stressed up, thus too vulnerable. When everyone is giving you overwhelming attention even you didn't ask for it. This is just too much for me too handle. It's just like... when you are in a relationship, you will only be receiving affection from your partner. Whereas, there when you are still single, there will be different people calling and texting you day and night. Everyday different people, sounds interesting, no..? I wonder will there be a day that I will tell myself that I can resist everything except... temptation... =.=" Honestly speaking, endless care and attention from people is just way too sweet for me. But, I know i have to shun them away. It's kinda hard, for i got used to it for almost 4 years.... but I'll just try.. probably I can't always control what other people says n does to me, but I'll try to control my words, for repetition impresses the subconscious and I'll then master the situation. I'll try to keep in faith and hoping that my soul and shadow will remain unshaken.........

Argghh.... i just need to concentrate in my exam... i need to dance in the rain again...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

1st morning in campus again

The very 1st morning in sp after a week of holiday in KL. I slept for 10 hours straight. 12am-10am.. amazing.... =.=" I think only in SP I'll be sleeping at a normal sleeping time.. if not.. i'll sleep at 4am and wake up at 7am back in KL. Oh well... mid term exam is approaching and i left only a week.. a lot of things to study still... GG.. I think i played too much back in kl. I wonder if I could finish reading everything for the once at least.

Was a great week back in kl though. Guess it was my very 1st time got drunk. Sky bar... playing stack'em.. rise in manhattan and the graveyard.. hahaa.. I barely remember what I said in the car. But guess that night sealed up the voids.

Sometimes I really wonder, what will happen if we were to return to high sch. Will we be studying together? Guess the only time we study together was only in the old town for an hour. haha... Well, u asked me on Sunday night in the car and I said no. Guess you were quite disappointed since I answered without giving a second thought. Even i didn't say yes, but guess the time that we spent on Monday was more than just a yes.

I see some changes in you. U took my words to heart. I know that... at least...on ur fb status... =) but i promise that I'll try my best... well... Let things be, Come What May...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Stay in my memory, Don't take all my thoughts today, So I can start to begin again.

Guess I'm just too good in avoiding... probably I'm being ignorant but I just can't help it. I think I'm just being overprotective with myself. I tried my very best to shun you in every single aspect. I even unsubscribed u on fb and avoid in reading everything that u commented on other ppl's status.. and the funniest thing is that I didn't even save ur hp number, yet, those number just stuck in my head... =.="

Things are weird sometimes, even i try to shun u away, but when I saw my friend playing I-pad, it somehow reminded me of that night. I then stared at my friend's Ipad and smiled. Well, right at the moment I smiled, in some way, I realize that I kinda miss the time we spent together. They will all stay in my memory after all. Somehow, I still wonder how would I react when I see you again. Just hope that things wouldn't turn out to be too awkward.


You told me that you waited for my msg for 5 days, yet, I didn't text u. At times, I wonder whether I was the one who's waiting for urs or u are the one who's waiting for my msg. Doesn't matter after all, cos it doesn't makes much difference as I know that I will never make the 1st move. Probably, I still can't lay down my stubborn pride. Guess you know it very well.

As time passes, things turning quite well. You seems busy wit ur new friends, while I'm busy with my clinic stuff and my upcoming exam. Just hope that I can focus and pass it all. =)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

You came and passed again

It has been quite some time since that i haven't paid a visit here. Guess it's time to express myself a bit in this little corner. Too much of stuff happened in just a year time. People come and pass in my life. Some stay a while until the path separate, while some join and walk a parallel path with me and even while the path at the front is unpredictable, yet, they still make an effort to maintain the same direction.

You came into my life at different time. Twice it was. It has been years since our last met during high school. Kinda weird that we meet again in the club. Even I do feel a bit surprise that I actually said yes when you ask me to join you clubbing that night while I never spoken to you for such a long time, and for the fact that I didn't even know any of your friends there. Guess it just happened. So much of unusual, unexpected and weird stuffs happened on that night, which both of us might not even thought of.

We barely spoken to each other during our high school time. We don't know each other inside out. Yet, the weirdest thing is that no matter how far geographically, or how long the silence in between phone calls, the moment we start our conversation back, it's like we just talked few minutes ago. I didn't know how does this happened, till it brought us to get stuck in old town until 4 in the morning. It's just ridiculous, but so much things to talk about, just like another endless topic with a fast running night.


Guess it's just so relaxed and easygoing, which is nearly perfect as life is just crazy enough already. No matter ow much time passes between our get-togethers, our reunions are never awkward. We pick up right where we left off, just like we never missed a beat.

After 4 months of reunion, here we came. I asked if we need a break, yet, you ignored my question and continue to talk to me as if i never said that before. Then after 3 days, it just ended like that. Sometimes I just wonder, didn't i deserve at least the most basic respect or an acknowledgement. At least I told you everything before I make any decision, but seems you don't really bother much. Probably as what you usually will say, you didn't had an idea to tell.

Twice already we have feelings for each other, yet it hasn't progressed further. I was once thought that if ever I feel down, you might be soft spot for me to fall. But seems that I wouldn't want to have the third time to be in such a situation, for the fact that I ain't sure if I still can be talking to you as if nothing happened before. At least now I can still have my emotional masked if we ever meet again.